About Me

I feel the wanderlust and the call of the open highway. Which is good, because I drive cars for a living. But I'm a writer, and someday hope to once again make my living using my writing skills.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016


I had just delivered a car to Brownsville, Texas and was wondering where I would spend Thanksgiving as twilight set in.  It would not be with friends or family, I had none that lived anywhere near me down on the southern tip of Texas.

Donald Trump was recently voted our President, and being so close to the Mexican border I couldn't help thinking about that big wall he promised to put up.  And all the other crazy promises he made, though I hope he is able to come through on some of them.  A lot of people were extremely unhappy about Trump's election.  As for me, I choose to think of the things I have to give thanks for.  It is that time of the year.

I am thankful for all of my friends all across the USA.  I am grateful to live in the USA, it is a privilege to live in a democratic nation where we have the right to vote for whoever we want.  I'm thankful to all the folks I meet out on the road, nutty and otherwise, who keep things interesting and lively for me.  And most of all I thank God for watching over me daily and keeping me safe as I travel.

As I walked down the streets searching for a restaurant that was open for Thanksgiving dinner.  I saw some clowns running down the block and into an alley.  It made me think about my experience with Bobo the bitter clown who I'd met nearly a year ago at a Waffle House.  These clowns looked a lot more energetic than Bobo.

Nearing the alley, I heard shouting.  I looked down the alley and saw the two clowns shoving an elderly couple and shouting threats.  This did not sit well with me, and I marched down the alley to see what was going on.  One of the clowns spun on me.

"Whassup, you son of a mother?" snarled one of the clowns at me.  "We are the Killer Klowns, with a K."

"OK," I said mildly.

"You gots to respect the Killer Klowns."

"Why?" I asked, trying to fully ascertain the situation I was in.

"Cuz we out here doing the Lord's work.  We are punishing everyone we find who voted for Donald Trump."

"Why is that?"

The other Klown turned to face me.  "Cuz we are true Americans.  Trump is gonna sell us out, it's all downhill from here."

Klown #1 pointed at the old couple, who were obviously terrified.  "These two admitted to voting for Trump, and now they need to learn a lesson about America."

"Land of the free, home of the brave?" I asked.

"You got that right."

"Do you guys understand what it means to live in America, and all the rights and responsibilities that go with that?"

"We gonna do what we gotta do," stated Klown #2.

"God wanted Hillary in the White House.  Trump landing there is an afront to God."

"Is that right?" I asked.

"Damn straight."

"I've been hearing about guys dressing up in clown costumes and terrorizing people on the streets for months.  Never heard any relationship between you and politics."

"Never was one till now," growled Klown #1 as he shoved the old man against the wall.

"Don't do that again," I heard myself say, with a threatening sound coming from me but not familiar to me.

"What are you gonna do about it?"  asked Klown #1.

"Too bad you don't have a gun to back it up, Trump is against guns," said Klown #2 as he shoved the old woman.

I pulled a gun out of my jacket.  "Too bad you're too stupid to know that Trump is all for guns.  And I'm going to empty this gun into you guys with pleasure if you don't get out of here right now."  I aimed it at them as if I'd done this a hundred times before and they made tracks fast.

The elderly couple thanked me profusely and even invited me to their house for Thanksgiving dinner.  And I said a prayer of Thanksgiving to God that the Killer Klowns couldn't recognize a starter pistol in the moonlight.

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