About Me

I feel the wanderlust and the call of the open highway. Which is good, because I drive cars for a living. But I'm a writer, and someday hope to once again make my living using my writing skills.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

STRANGE FOLKS COME MY WAY

I continue to drive.
Some days are better than others.

Two days ago, I was driving a car from south Florida up to Milwaukee, WI when a tire on a Lexxus blew out, and I was sliding all over I-75 in Georgia.
Ended up on the shoulder of the road, and the elderly gent who owned the car had given me a "valet" key, so I could not open the trunk to change the tire.
Had to sit on the highway for over 3 hours waiting for a tow to the nearest tire store (ten miles away)

This was out in the sticks.
When the tow driver came, he was a young, blonde, tall skinny kid named Caleb.
He tried to talk me into going to his buddy's "retread" tire store instead of Wal Mart, and I declined.
Then he announced it was his birthday.
"Happy birthday," I said.

"It's my birthday."

"Yes, I know."

"It's my birthday, and I'm 22."

"Good for you, Caleb, hope its a happy one."

"It could be. It might be. Once I drop the car off, where you goin'?"

"I'm staying with the car all night til Wal Mart tire dept. opens in the morning."

"No, come on over to stay at my house, we can party."

"No thanks, but I appreciate the offer."

"It's my birthday."

"I know."

"It's my birthday and we can party."

"No, really, but thanks."

"It's my birthday and we will party, birthday suits mandatory."

HUH? All of the sudden, in the back of my mind, I could hear the banjo strums from DELIVERANCE.
Anyhow, the car got fixed the next morning and I was on my way.
Just another chapter in the life of a Driving Fool.

Friday, December 18, 2009

NUTTY, CRAZY ROAD ADVENTURES

Well, the driving fool continues to criss-cross the country and sees lots and lots of crazy things. There was the incident in a bathroom in Chicago, where a large man insisted on taking my money, and when I said NO he threw me face first against a wall and began pummeling me in the back of the head (with his fist, wearing many rings). And the elderly man who wanted me to drive his car from Boca Raton to New Jersey, and filled his Buick with over 25 large plants leaving no room for my suitcase and very little room for me. His instructions were to water all the plants twice a day, and to leave the windows cracked at night, but to wake up once an hour to be sure it wasn't raining outside. After I dropped off in New Jersey, I had to go to NYC to catch a train, and I quickly learned not to go to NYC at Friday rush hour in the rain. Everywhere I went, people shoved me and yelled "Out of my way!" I learn new and exciting things each day.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

TRAVELING AROUND THE USA

I decided to start writing a Blog for all my new friends to get to know me. I wrote this novel called A DRIVING FOOL, all about my crazy adventures over the past seven years delivering cars all over America. At the suggestion of a movie Director friend I'm turning it into a movie script. I have hit the road and resumed driving cars around the USA to inform and inspire my screenplay adaptation of A DRIVING FOOL. And true to form, the zany shennanigans began immediately. The very first trip I took, I got on a Greyhound bus where a crack-addicted slut offered to perform oral sex in the nasty bus restroom for $10. Then the bus broke down and we were stranded for five hours on the side of the highway.
I meet such an incredible amount of truly strange people, and when friends ask me how I find them all, I respond truthfully, "No, no, they all find ME." Its nice to see family and friends that I haven't seen in several years, and to feel all the love they have for me. But with each new day, I never know what new wackos are out there waiting to pounce on me. It can only make my movie script that much better, bringing an enjoyable film watching experience for the audience, coming soon to a theater or drive-in near you.