After the pandemic shut down so many places we all love to go, it was heartening to see that Broadway is back open for business. And it took me back to my adventure seeing my first Broadway show.
Mel Brooks' THE PRODUCERS is one of my all time favorite movies. When I heard they were making it into a musical, my heart sank, for I felt that they would spoil the magic of the original movie. Then in 2003, my friend Justin bought me the CD of the Broadway soundtrack, and I found myself driving cars around the country singing along gleefully. By this time Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick had left the show, but I doubted I'd ever get the chance to see it live.
Then I drove an ambulance to New York City one early April day in 2004, and was supposed to pick up a limosine to drive back to Atlanta. But when I arrived in NYC, I called and was told the limo wouldn't be ready to go until 11pm that night. I had just read that Lane and Broderick had returned for a limited 3 month run in the show, and that run would be ending in a few days. So I decided to try to go see it, and made my way up to the St. James theatre on 44th St.
I arrived to find a long line down the street and around the corner. It was a Saturday, and I assumed they were waiting to get in to be seated for the matinee show. As I walked down the line to find out where it ended, a dirty, smelly little man jumped into my path. "Tickets here. You want to see the show?"
"Are you selling them?" I asked.
"If you got cash I am."
"Are they good seats?"
"Are they good seats, he asks. Back row balcony, only the best. $500."
"That's a little steep for me. Maybe I'll get on the cancellation list, for after this line of people goes in."
The little man laughed at me. "Buddy, this line is for people waiting for any possible cancellations for this show. Are you ignorant or pathetic or both? You must be from the South." He stormed off as if he was disgusted with me. I looked at my watch, and it was one hour until showtime. Damn!
As I walked back towards the entrance of the theatre, I heard a voice call out loudly "Bill!" I knew that they couldn't be calling me, because I don't know a soul in Manhattan. "Bill! Bill Thomas, is that you?"
I turned around and was stunned. "Kim? Kim Mayer?"
"Hi Bill." She gave me a big bear hug. I hadn't seen her since college, where we were very close friends. I had still been sending her a Christmas card to her parents' house each year.
"I appreciated all the Christmas cards, you never forget me. And you write the sweetest things. You were always a good friend. So what are you doing in my neighborhood?"
"Trying to see a Broadway show."
"Not this one, I hope."
"Why, isn't it any good? Have you seen it?"
"Oh it's great, that's the problem. Everyone wants to see it. But yes I've seen it many times. I'm the assistant manager here at the St. James."
"Since when?"
"Since five years ago. But what are you doing now? My guess was always that you'd be a famous writer by now."
"I drive cars around the USA for busy executives who don't have time to. But I do still write. The last screenplay I wrote was inspired by this musical."
A voice called out her name. "I have to run inside, can you wait here a few?"
"I have nowhere to be." She ran into the lobby of the theatre, and I was once again enchanted by this lovely African American woman that I had a crush on all through college. She only saw me as a brother, and I had to watch as she had many misbegotten trysts with other guys who only hurt her. I was the one she came to when she needed a shoulder to cry on.
Ten minutes later, she was back. "Hate to say it, but you picked a bad time to come. Nathan and Matthew are back for a limited engagement, and this is their last week."
"So I heard."
"Everyone wants to see them, and I can't blame them. These two guys have a magical chemistry."
"Well, I figured if I was going to see my first Broadway show, it should be this."
"Wait a sec, are you telling me you've never seen a show on Broadway before? Ever?"
"Never. To tell you the truth, I was reluctant about this musical because I'm so in love with the original movie version. But a friend gave me the Broadway CD, and I've been listening to it over and over for months while I drive."
"Catchy songs, huh? Listen, I'm about to get real busy until the matinee starts. Can you hang out until then, we can talk more freely."
"Will you keep me in mind if a ticket comes available?"
"Baby, I don't want to burst your bubble, but this show is sold out, and I'm about to have to tell that line of over 100 folks that they are out of luck."
"OK, I'll just wait here for you." I walked up and down the block, looking at the Majestic theatre where THE MUSIC MAN originally appeared in 1957. And Sardis, a famous restaurant that celebrities frequent.
Just under an hour later, the line had disappeared and Kim walked back out to see me. "So what do you think of Broadway so far?"
"Exciting. Vibrant. And since I'm here anyway, I should get tickets for another show. Any good suggestions?"
Kim crooked her finger and wiggled it for me to follow her. "Come with me." She led me into the lobby where I saw an elderly lady sitting in the box office. "Ruth, this is one of my oldest friends, Bill Thomas. Do we have anything for him at tonight's show?"
"One seat, front row mezzanine. You want it?"
"Do I -- of course I want it! How much?"
"Nope, you are my guest tonight," Kim said with finality.
Ruth handed me the ticket and said, "These go for 100 bucks and are very hard to come by."
"I am extremely grateful to you, Ruth. And to you, dear sweet Kim."
"Cut the corny crap and thank me by bringing me back a sandwich and a brownie. Now go see the city, but be back by 7:30, the show starts at 8pm sharp."
"I will, I'll be here." I spent the day seeing New York for the first time, visiting landmarks and museums and finding my way around. I had been in the city once before, but it was to visit a friend at the World Trade Center the day before 9-11. There was no time on that trip for any leisure, it was all business. And then my friend perished in the towers the very next day.
I arrived back to the St. James at 7:20, and found Kim easily. I gave her a bag with a sandwich made on a croissant, two brownies, a sweet bun, and some doughnut holes. She squealed with delight, because apparently the place I chose to purchase the food from was one of her favorite spots. "Are you ready for a real experience?"
"I feel like the King of old Broadway," I answered, quoting a line from one the show's songs. Kim passed me off to Judy, the head Usher, who took me upstairs to my seat. Judy kept on glancing at me oddly, as if she recognized me.
"You could be up on the stage tonight. You look a lot like Max Bialystock." I was flattered beyond belief.
"I know all the songs by heart," I proudly told her. "I will have trouble resisting singing along during the show."
Judy's face grew suddenly solemn. "Don't do that. Please don't do that." I could see she took me seriously.
I gave her my best humble, obedient look and said, "I won't. I promise."
When the overture started, I had butterflies in my stomach. This show I had dreamed about as I listened to the soundtrack was coming to life for me, and was so much better than I had possibly imagined. Lane and Broderick were hilarious, and played off each other brilliantly. Gary Beach was a scream as overtly gay director Roger De Bris, prancing and mincing like a real trooper. The main production number was SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER, which is done up big and splashy. I wanted to belt out the lyrics in unison with the cast so many times, but controlled myself.
After the show, I sought out Kim, and I grabbed her in a hug and lifted her off the ground, spinning her around. She laughed with glee, and asked how I liked the show.
"Words can't describe. It was one of the greatest show pieces of entertainment I have ever seen in my life. And I have you to thank for making this happen."
"Bill, the smile on your face makes it all worthwhile to me. I love bringing people joy."
"Well you sure brought a barrel full of it tonight for me. Thank you again and again."
I got her current address and promised to stay in touch. She said I am one of the only people she knows who actually follows through on that promise. I felt a flutter in my heart when I hugged her for the last time, remnants of the longtime crush I'd had on her.
But one thing that show really reminded me of. My goal, my destiny. I wanna be a Producer!
