About Me

I feel the wanderlust and the call of the open highway. Which is good, because I drive cars for a living. But I'm a writer, and someday hope to once again make my living using my writing skills.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


En route to make a car delivery in Macon, GA, I had to pull over to deal with a call from my boss Riff. He needed me to look through paperwork, and I won't do that when I'm operating a vehicle.

"Find it yet?" he demanded.

"No, but I do know that it's here."

"Oh really? What divine providence makes you so sure, you silly idiot?"

"There's that disrespect that we've talked about."

"Listen up, Goono--"

"Call you after I make delivery." And I had to hang up, because no task is tolerable with Riff shouting in one ear. I was entering Macon and just a few miles from my destination. The man I was delivering to, Mr. Edwards, had sounded nice on the phone. This should be easy enough.

I drove the Blue Ford Fusion into the Edward's driveway, and out came a disgruntled Mr. Edwards. "What is this? What are you doing to me? Blue? Are you kidding me, blue? No way can I deal with this."

"Hi, I'm Bill Thomas, this is your new company car."

"No, not mine. This is a blue car. Why couldn't you bring me red?"

"They don't give me a choice, and I--"

"Green also, green would be nice. But blue?"

"I'm just your delivery man, I have no say about what you get."

"Just about any color would have been fine, even white and/or black There
are many colors in the rainbow." Mr. Edwards looked hopelessly lost and
concerned. "You brought me a blue car. So what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that this is the car I brought you."

Mr. Edwards rubbed his hand down slowly over his face. "What are you telling me?"

"That your company was kind enough to provide you with a work vehicle."

The man shook his head back and forth, puzzled to say the least.
"Can you put it into layman's terms?"

"Excuse me?"

"Simplify it."

"This is now your new company car."

"In plain English? Please?"

"Your company gave me a car to bring you for you to use. I drove it 450
miles to deliver it to your front door. And now it belongs to you."

He rubbed the top of his head briskly. "So what you're telling me is..." He let out a
growl of frustration. "I don't follow this at all."

"In a nutshell, you got a blue car," I said, and held out the paperwork for him
to sign. He did so, and I left. Time to find that paperwork for the next car I had to
pick up going from Atlanta to Denver.

1 comment:

  1. hard to believe anyone can be that dense... though I know they are out there....