FUN AT A THEME PARK

I had just finished a week of shuttling ambulances from Miami to the Jacksonville port in Florida. We had to wear a yellow safety vest at the port, and I kept forgetting to take mine off at the end of the day.

On Friday, I left Jacksonville in a rental car and drove to Orlando in a terrible rainstorm. Whipping wind and blinding rain made it a slow drive, and I got a headache out of the bargain. I was going to meet an old friend who works at Walt Disney World for dinner, but since I arrived hours before she got off work, I decided to go see a movie at Pleasure Island. They have a huge AMC 24-plex theater right there on Disney property, and I was debating what I wanted to see.

I walked purposefully through Downtown Disney under my umbrella, when a very haughty woman called to me, "Young man, young man. I need you to take me to where I catch the bus back to my hotel."

I shrugged and kept on walking. "Sorry, I can't help you."

The woman hurried over and stood in my path. "I beg your pardon, but you can at least tell me where the bus is."

"I have no idea. Have a nice day."

But she would not get out of my way. And her attitude went quickly from stuck up to hostile. "You will tell me what I want to know right away because you are required to."

"Listen ma'am, I do not have the information you require, and I'm running late, so--"

"How dare you! You cannot speak to me that way."

"Gotta go."

She held her own umbrella out to block my passage. "I don't like your sass. You are a worthless little man and barely worth my time. You are moronic and incompetent, and I just don't like anything about you. I am going to report you."

"Go ahead."

"I mean it. I intend to report that you were rude, impudent and sarcastic."

"Good, I encourage you to do so."

"What is your name?"

"I'm not telling."

"You absolutely must give me your name. I know the Disney rules, and as an employee you have to comply."

"I don't work here."

"Don't be an idiot, of course you do."

"Nope, I don't."

"But you're wearing the yellow vest, that means you're an employee."

I looked down at the vest. "I forgot to take off the vest, but I don't work here."

"Aha, so you are an off-duty employee. But the rules still apply to you. Give me your name right this minute."

"No thank you." And with that, I side-stepped around her and hurried on my way. This made her absolutely furious.

"Come back here. I'm not through with you. Oooo, you are in so much trouble."

My first job was working in a Theme park, and I enjoyed serving people and making them smile all day. But I also had to take a lot of crap from haughty, mean-spirited, nasty people who would look down their nose at me. As an "ex-employee", I refuse to subject myself to such nonsense. As I walked away from this bitchy woman, I smiled contentedly.