The rain was pounding down in Arkansas as I drove into the small town of Hot Springs. I had heard about all the spas and springs, baths and massages and wanted to try them all. But first I had to deliver this Ford minivan to Mr. Spenser at some campaign headquarters office..
As I drove down the streets of Hot Springs, the rain quickly went from pouring to a light sprinkle. I found the address, and as soon as I pulled up to the curb and parallel parked, Mr. Spenser came running out. "Bill! Bill, this is the place." I supposed he recognized the vehicle, and I was arriving precisely on time as agreed.
I parked and got out. "This is your new van, Mr. Spenser."
"Tom, please call me Tom."
I reached my hand out and we shook. "Bill Thomas, pleasure to meet you."
"Bill, may I ask you a personal check?"
"A personal check?"
Tom laughed. "I'm sorry, I meant a personal question. It's become a reflex habit to ask for money. But I'd really like to know." He stared at me in anticipation for a long pause.
"What's the question?"
"Isn't it obvious, Bill? Are you a registered voter?"
"Yes, of course."
"Why do you say of course?"
"Because it's my civic duty, and because I want to have a say in who becomes President."
Tom beamed. "Good answer! I can see we're cut from the same cloth. You are a patriot, sir."
I held up the clipboard with his paperwork on it. "If you can just sign here, the van is all yours."
"Just like that?" he asked.
"Just like that."
"It's my new campaign van. I'm running a Presidential campaign."
"That's cool, who is your candidate?"
"Why it's me, Tom Spenser. I want to give the people what they want."
"What do they, or we, want?"
He nodded knowingly. "Exactly."
"Exactly what?"
"Bill, look at the choices. We have crazy old Uncle Joe Biden, gay mayor Pete, and an old fart who preaches socialism. And then there's Trump, from the Beelzebub party."
"So you're an independent?"
Tom laughed. "Heck no, I'm a Quaker. Just think of all the free advertising and publicity I'll get every time someone buys a box of Quaker oatmeal. That's what's going to put me over the top!"
There was another long pause. I cleared my throat. "So just sign here and I'll be on my way." The cold drizzle was getting uncomfortable.
"Gladly Bill, I will sign just as soon as I get your pledge to vote for me."
I was perplexed. "I never tell anyone who I'm going to vote for."
"Because you consider it a private matter?"
"Yes, it is a private matter."
"But I bet you've never actually had a one on one conversation with a candidate who's a serious contender."
I held up the clipboard. "Just put your John Hancock right here."
"Well Bill, you just proved my point. John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence and look at all the wonderful things that begat. The founding fathers would want you to vote for me. Don't let them down, Bill."
I thought long and hard. "Tell you what Tom, if you sign this I will consider voting for you."
Tom looked at me sideways. "Do you mean just consider, or do you mean seriously consider?"
I inadvertently belched before saying "Yes".
Tom grabbed my clipboard. "That's good enough for me, I can take that to the bank. And hey, now I can drive my new van to the bank. I have $5000 in my war chest, I'm unstoppable."
"That's right," I nodded as I took the clipboard and grabbed my backpack out of the minivan.
Tom gave me a sly glance. "So are you leaning towards voting for me now?"
I wagged my finger playfully. "Secret ballot, Tom. But you will find out come election day."
He startled me, grabbing me by both shoulders tightly. "Bill, with you in my corner, I just know I will be the next President." Tom began humming Hail To The Chief and I made a quick exit. Despite his zeal, I doubted Tom would become President of the United States. But I doubted the same thing about Trump. This may be the most important election in history, so vote for who you want.
BUT VOTE!
