For a driving fool, its all about the daily routine. Driving here and there all over the United States, seeing things most Americans never get to enjoy. Meeting new people, often times oddly bizarre people. But also folks who are in need or offer me kindness just when I need it most.
I have a lot of time and opportunity to study other people's driving habits on the road. It gives me a lot of terms and definitions of my own. For instance, a few of my pet peeves include people who get into the left lane on an interstate highway and go ten miles under the speed limit. Refusing to move over to the right and let all the drivers behind them go the full, proper speed. And texting while driving is not only irritating, its insane. Robin Williams did a wonderful bit about it, explaining that your brain can't drive and text at the same time, and one day your brain will just quit on you and let you crash.
There is an event that often occurs on highways. Say you are on a large highway, like the LBJ freeway that loops around Dallas. It has four lanes going in each direction. The far left lane, or number one lane, along with number two and three lanes, will collect three drivers who go side by side. All of them at the exact same speed, usually five to ten miles below the posted speed limit. I call this BUILDING A WALL. I constantly find myself jumping over into the number four lane, aka the slow lane, to whip around them and get down the road.
And then there are those folks who like to drive in clumps. They want to be in a group, as close as they possibly can to the other cars. And some drivers seem to think driving is like swimming, you need the buddy system. A car will speed up behind me, and when they are directly behind me they lock in on my tail and stay right with me. This irritates me, so I speed up considerably. They stay right with me. So I slow down, sometimes as far as twenty miles below the speed limit. But they slow down the exact same amount. I've had to go so far as to just pull over on the shoulder of the highway so these parasites will go away. I call them SNUGGLE BUNNIES.
There are the pleasant moments on the road, however. Such as when I'm driving and suddenly notice that there is a clump of cars 100 yards ahead of me. And there is another clump of cars 100 yards behind me. But I am in a space all alone. I call this being in a POCKET. When this happens, I just immediately feel a sense of joy and pleasure wash over me. I smile and relax and careen down the road on my way to my next adventure. A driving fool rides again!
